RSS Feed
Should happiness come naturally?
The simple answer to this question is yes, if you’re lucky but no, if you’re like most people.
That is, for some people happiness does come naturally and easily in the same way that for some people, other skills or abilities (such as athletics and sports, problem solving, and even interpersonal relationships) come easily. For many people, however, whether it comes naturally or not is irrelevant. If you want to achieve greater happiness then you can – if you find out what to do and do it (and then practice it until you master it).
Consider the following example: how many of you were born able to drive a car? I bet the answer is “none of you”.
Despite this, because it’s something that can make our lives easier to manage, most of us put in the effort to learn how to drive and then we practice until we’re good enough to do it easily.
Happiness can be viewed in much the same way. If achieving happiness is important to you then whether it comes naturally or easily or not, need not stop you from (1) finding out what to do and then (2) practicing it until you’re really good at it.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, June 29th, 2005 at 1:46 pm and is filed under Happy Tips.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can also leave a response.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:52 pm
doc happy
whenever you feel like expanding this blog topic, i’m interested to know more about
-how long you’ve got to “practice it” to be really good at it
-whether your skills can get “rusty” over time
- over time you stop being “conscious” that you’re specifically making an effort to be happy ……. how long does this take?
thanks!
June 30th, 2005 at 9:55 am
Iolanda,
Your question about how long you need to practice happiness skills before you get really good is a bit like asking how long is a piece of string - it varies a lot from person to person. As with the acquisition of all skills, some people pick things up quickly, others take longer. The point, however, is not how long it takes to master but that if you want to reap the rewards of using happiness strategies you need to keep doing what you need to do.
Think of another example - brushing your teeth. If I do this tonight, my teeth will be clean. But by tomorrow, they’ll be dirty again. Accordingly, if I want my teeth to always be clean I need to keep brushing them (and if you do so, as you’ve guessed, the act itself becomes automatic and you certainly can stop being “conscious” of having to do it).
It’s the same with happiness strategies. You need to keep doing them (or else, as you’ve noted, you get “rusty” and they cease being as effective).
July 1st, 2005 at 8:31 am
I disagree sometime the unhappiness is the contrast that makes you change to a happy state.
I have seen athletes decide when they come 9th I want to do that better and come first in 12 months.
I have seen soccer players get knocked back at 13 clubs in a one month period and finally play rep soccer.
Sometimes the degree of difficultly enters into it.
I sometimes think I might never resolve a problem at work.
But I stare at it , Take it home think about it.. talk it over with someone that migt know as much as me or more about it and somehow the new process is devised.
Then the high arousal or low arousal happiness states really come then.
Lets be happy for a bit of contrast…
July 2nd, 2005 at 4:13 pm
I too believe that the sad times make us appreciate the happy times and encourage us to achieve the happy times.
I also believe you need to practice it. When I went through a bout of depression I identified two things that got me out of that. I walked for 20 minutes every day and I sat down at the end of each day and wrote down five things that made me feel happy during each day. Whilst this can be difficult some days I found it encouraged me to re-experience the happy moments and helped me also to identify the things that pulled me down.
I have since written a daily journal which features positive suggestions, self-affirmations, goal setting and interactive activities for every day of the year.
I wanted to help other people to appreciate and understand how to be happy. Happiness is not something to strive for; it is something we should feel every day.
If you would like to know more go to www.nancysommerfield.com